Vector8 Journals

Friday, September 24, 2004

Surrender to Love

"Of course I’m lazy, I let God handle the details." (Carson Attaway)

"I can of mine own self do nothing." (John 5: 30)
Surrender, that dirty word. How does one surrender? How can I surrender to something I am not even sure exists? “Let go and let God!” Yeah, yeah, but how does it work in practice? Hmmm!

I can only speak from experience, naturally.

The way I see it, I have a thought to do something. The thought comes from God-Self. I only need to let things happen. The thing is, I’ve been spoiled by metaphysics and stories of miracles, where you expect something to pop up in front of you. The problem with having this fixed expectation is that it has a tendency to prevent infinite other ways things can happen. Since the ways I know are the old tried and tested ways, my only choice is to stay open to other possibilities.

I have observed that there is no waiting involved. The moment the intent is sent out, each moment is working towards fulfilling that goal. So any thought or urge is part of the goal. Here’s an example of letting the unexpected happen.

The most memorable birthday I have ever had started with the thought: “I want to have a memorable birthday.” I also wanted my friends, who had never met, to get on. (That was when I used to celebrate birthdays). I planned to meet my friends in a pub (bar) and then head off to a particular restaurant. The only snag is I couldn’t remember the name of the pub. I described where it was and said it had a “moon” in the title. I arrived pretty early at the pub to greet my guests. Much to my annoyance, there was neither a “moon” nor a “star” in the title. How could I have got it so wrong? How were my friends going to find it? In those days, mobiles were few and far between.

A few bewildered looking friends trickled in. We waited for the others to show. In the end, I resigned myself to the fact that the rest of my friends weren’t going to make it. When we arrived at the restaurant, the rest of the gang was there. It turned out that the ones who couldn’t find the pub had headed for the restaurant. They were able to bond over my error. I was Public Enemy Number 1. My friends teased me about getting the pub title wrong and wouldn’t let me live it down.

As far as I was concerned, I got my wish. It was a memorable day and my friends had a really good time. Would I have been able to arrange this? No. But by trusting in the process and doing what I was inspired to do, all went according to plan.

I believe it was Intent that was the driving force. It was Intent that arranged events the way they happened. Intent originates in silence.

Don Juan puts it this way:

"He said (Don Juan) that choice, for warrior-travelers, was not really the act of choosing, but rather the act of acquiescing elegantly to the solicitations of infinity.

"Infinity chooses," he said. “The art of the warrior-traveler is to have the ability to move with the slightest insinuation, the art of acquiescing to every command of infinity." (The Active Side of Infinity, Carlos Castaneda, p. 182)
In other words, it was Infinity who wanted me to have fun; and it was Infinity’s idea of fun (for me) to create the scene. Infinity worked through my thoughts and my friends. This, to me, is surrender.

Note that there was a point during the evening when I felt annoyed at myself for giving my friends the wrong pub name. My emotional state did not stop events from unfolding, because I surrendered and let things happen. Believe me, I was grateful for the few who had turned up to the pub; I would have had fun, regardless.

The path of “Love” involves trust to such an extent when I trust that my acts are being orchestrated by Infinity. I have seen too many examples to doubt the process. Surrender takes away fretting. Things either happen instantly or unfold as a process. Either way, I let things happen.

I surrender to Love.

Love Enocia