Vector8 Journals

Saturday, October 23, 2004

How Can I Grieve Over an Illusion

A few days ago, the Inner Voice informed me something was about to occur. Apparently, my mother was going to need lots of support when, whatever it is, happened. I pressed for more details but this part of me was, surprisingly, reticent. As I trust in myself, I simply believed and let go.

My beloved uncle passed away yesterday afternoon. He woke up yesterday feeling perfectly fine. In the afternoon he felt a bit sick and hot. He was taken to the hospital. He was described as peaceful up to his last breath. He had experienced no struggles, no suffering; he had simply surrendered to the process.

My uncle was a man who lived life to the full. He was always filled with joy and had a kind word and blessing for others. I believe his life was so full he didn't have time for death, so he made his transition in the quickest time possible.

Everyone has been shocked over the suddenness of his death. "It can't be! He wasn't even ill!" It's like we are so programmed to expect a transition through a prolonged illness that when someone passes away without drama, it's not normal.

I expected nothing less from a man who had such strong faith in God. A man who would wake up his family (including my brothers and I as kids) bright and early for morning prayers, until I rebelled, preferring to stay in bed and face the consequences of disobedience. I figured God wanted me to have that extra hour in bed.

One thing I find interesting is that I can predict what time a bus will arrive or whether the supermarket has a product in stock, but to predict someone's death is a mystery. I believe it is because death is so unreal, such an illusion, that it is impossible for my mind to interpret it as a reality. I am so sure life is eternal, i.e. that "I", the One experiencing life as the many, was never born (nor can "I" ever die), that I can only experience this reality. I can't predict what can never happen, can I?

Naturally, I feel compassion for people who believe the personality/body is who the person is, therefore, they think of this event as a loss. I will support the process people go through.

As far as I'm concerned, nothing's changed. Can I mourn the loss of someone when he's always with me? Besides, we have been living in different countries for years, what difference does his passing away now make? As I see it, we have never been apart. I will always love him.

My uncle was a father figure to me. He took my brothers and I into his household and treated us like his own children. From my uncle, I learned to see the truth behind the drama of life and to love and accept others without judgment. From my uncle, I also learned to fear no one.

What is there to be sorry about?

With love,
Enocia

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