Vector8 Journals

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Love is Real in any Dream

In the book "The Active Side of Infinity," Castaneda has to go through a breaking point. As his teacher, Don Juan explains:

"[..]What I mean is that at a given moment the continuity of their [sorcerers'] lives has to break in order for inner silence to set in and become an active part of their structures."
Don Juan advises Castaneda that in order to arrive at a "breaking point" he must let go of his "personal history." Infinity must be his only point of reference. Castaneda is very reluctant to let go of his friends. Don Juan tells him he can no longer be his teacher.

Castaneda resumes his old life. He soon realises he can no longer live as his old self. Gradually, he starts growing through a process of ego or "person" death, when he lets go of his "personal history" until it makes no difference to him whether he's with someone or alone. Castaneda gets involved in a business venture but after a while regrets his decision and he feels trapped.

One day, out of the blue, Don Juan, pays him a visit, even though Don Juan doesn't know Castaneda's current address. Don Juan has made the journey from inner silence. He advises Carlos to dissolve his business as it is getting in the way of his freedom. He should then meet him in a town in Mexico in one hour. Castaneda is puzzled how he's expected to dissolve his business and travel from Los Angeles to Mexico in an hour. Don Juan tells him to do as he has suggested and the answer will come.

Castaneda sets the dissolution of his business in motion, which takes him longer than an hour. In despair that he has not been able to make the appointment, he retreats into inner silence. He falls asleep. He has a dream that he's at the town Don Juan had suggested where he finds Don Juan waiting for him. They go for a stroll around the town and it all feels very real to him. Castaneda wonders whether it is a dream.

"Don Juan laughed, shaking his head. He had definitely read my thoughts. "You're not in a mere dream," he said, "but who am I to tell you that? You'll know it yourself someday - that there are no dreams from inner silence - because you'll choose to know it."" ("The Active Side of Infinity" by Carlos Castaneda, p.114)
I also have been going through a "breaking point" process when inner silence is taking over.

Yesterday on the bus I noticed a man carrying a Jack Russell puppy. He was so adorable. I wished I could stroke him but they were out of reach. The inner voice asked me why I didn't get a pet. I said I didn't want a pet but it would be nice to stroke that puppy. The opportunity did not present itself.

Last night I had a dream. A man appeared with 6 puppies of different breeds. Each puppy wanted to be stroked and petted. I let them all lick my face and they felt so lovely. Then a parrot (or cockatoo) appeared and sat on my arm. He said "hello." He snuggled by me for a cuddle. The parrot (or cockatoo) gave me a proverbial peck on my right cheek then he flew off. In another dream, a brown snake brushed right by me. People in the dream wondered why the snake didn't bite me. With its hood flared up, the snake looked back at me, as if he'd heard their comments. I felt so much love from that snake. Then a tiger came by to play and he was very friendly.

When I woke up I wondered about those dreams whether they were actual dreams. The love I felt from those animals were so real. Then I remembered Don Juan's words that there were no dreams in inner silence. What difference does it make whether I stroke a dog on the bus or in my dream. The feeling was just as real and as intense. Perhaps, it is because the walls have broken down; there is no longer any difference between this realm and my dream. They are all one and the same.

I'm also aware that not all dreams are real. Last night I had another dream where I saw my mother standing beside me and we both watched a woman weeping in bed. I had no idea who the woman was and why she was weeping. Then I woke up. I then realised that the sound of weeping was no other than my mother snoring in her bedroom.

I have come to realise that love is real whether you are dreaming in sleep or dreaming awake; while illusion is always an illusion in any dream.

I am Love,