Vector8 Journals

Friday, February 18, 2005

The Gift - Part 2

In a previous article called The Gift, I discussed the Gift of Universal Energy that we have all been given to experience life. There is another gift which is just as important: it is the life we have as humans.

I have found painful human experiences to be my salvation. This doesn't mean I believe I should suffer so I can learn from the experience. On the contrary, I believe my life is to unfold Spirit. Omniscient Spirit obviously knew the kind of family I was being "born" into and the kind of experiences I was likely to attract based on the beliefs of the family, race, gender, nationality and social mores of the day. I see my human life as the hidden gem, the gift that I can use to play my part in the game of life.

One weakness I have in my human body is that I get tired very easily. I could be washing the dishes and after a few minutes I'll find I need to take a break otherwise I'll be nauseous or get a headache. The human cause is I am lacking in particular supplements/vitamins. I've tried that route and it hasn't worked for me. Eventually, I realised that when I do a task in inner silence, I feel completely relaxed and filled with energy. I could go on for hours. My path is to work in silence, to be Spirit in all I do. The same applies for instance when I'm walking. The last two days I've walked 6 miles a day without effort because I've done so as Spirit. I have felt as fresh as I first started.

As a child I experienced sexual abuse. According to the human belief system I was meant to be traumatised by it, and it was meant to affect all my relationships. Because I believed in the cause/effect principle I was affected by the experience for a long time. I went from being a victim to an angry survivor. I had psychotherapy for a short while then I woke up to the truth that I am neither a survivor nor a victim. I am Spirit. Spirit is Love. I was able to let go of that experience and be at peace.

Another gift I had as a child was painful shyness. Though I had friends at school I preferred my own company. My love of spending time alone was what lead me to seek solace in meditation and exploring my identity as Spirit. I now have no problems meeting people though I prefer solitude.

I used to have a mad phobia of shops, particularly supermarkets. I could only take them for short spells and I would feel sick. Shopping for food was very problematic. It is only when I stopped thinking about it and just doing it that I was healed.

I have many gifts as a human which are considered to be negative. My gifts have revealed to me that my path is about living as Spirit so that I trust in Spirit for all my needs.

I believe we all have been given two great gifts. The first is that of Spirit/Universal Energy. The second gift is the human life we have been born into. While reading about other people's experiences might be useful, to get a real understanding what one's path is one has to revert to Spirit. Spirit is our real identity and will remind us why we are here playing the human role. We then discover that we are all walking our unique paths.

My path is my unique contribution to the human experience.

I am so grateful for the gift of life as I am experiencing it.

I am What I Am,
Enocia