Vector8 Journals

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

So I Don't Get Complacent

"There was something formless and perfect
before the universe was born.
It is serene. Empty.
Solitary. Unchanging.
Infinite. Eternally present.
It is the mother of the universe.
For lack of a better name,
I call it the Tao." Tao Te Ching 25
A while back I had a dream. It felt like I was dreaming and still awake. I saw a purple formless entity that was limitless. The entity reached out with what appeared to be its hand and stroked my face. Its touch felt so real it woke me up. It dawned on me that I was that purple entity. The biggest shock of all was realising I'd forgotten who I was. I went back to sleep and had a dream that I was speaking to a man, who resembled an ex-boyfriend. I told him I was purple. I said no one was going to accept me. He said he didn't care.

I said, "how can you love me when I am purple?"
He said, "I love you forever."

Recently I had a vision where I saw myself as this amorphous purple mass. I was surprised to see the universe outside of me. I came out of the vision. I had the vision three times and each time I saw that everything I know to be forms were outside of me. They had no substance in reality. I felt like I was all alone as this purple mass. This purple mass was very still and very much conscious of all it was.

As I pondered over the vision I realised that reality for me was the purple mass. This mass is consciousness and what I was perceiving outside of me were dream realities that we call the universe. Why not treat the universe like all dreams which dissolve when I wake up? So I dissolved the dreams of the universe into nothing. I am to live in what I believe to be reality, be the purple "Self."

The vision is a reminder that I must never get complacent. Life, for me, is a constant dissolution of what I hold to be true. It doesn't matter how good the words sound, how much someone's truth resonates, it is still a dream. If it can be defined, put into words, felt or heard it is not it. Reality is a no-thing, i.e. it cannot be experienced through the human senses or the human mind. Though I perceive reality as purple, I know it is my way of conceptualising it.

I think no thing
I hear no thing
I feel no thing
I smell no thing
I taste no thing
I think no thing
I experience no thing

I am no thing,
Enocia

Related articles: The Art of Unsubscribing; See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil