Vector8 Journals

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Relationships - A Metaphor

Recently I went through a relationship dilemma. On the one hand I thought it would be nice to have a relationship. On the other hand, when I did attract the situation, I couldn't decide whether I could treat anyone as exclusive when I loved everyone. Then I watched an episode of Star Trek, called Fair Haven, which gave me a different perspective.

Tom Paris and Harry Kim, have designed a new holodeck program, a virtual reality set in an Irish village called Fair Haven. The ship is on a collision path with an "interstellar hurricane." Captain Janeway gives permission for the Fair Haven programme to run 24 hours a day so the crew can visit and keep their mind away from the approaching storm.

The first time Captain Janeway pays a visit to Fair Haven, she takes a shine to one of the holodeck characters, a bar man called Michael who is already married. When Janeway returns to the ship, she decides to make some adjustments to Michael: she asks the computer to make Michael taller, make him interested in literature and to delete his wife. The next time Janeway enters Fair Haven, Michael is her ideal guy and they develop a friendship which leads to a romantic liaison. Janeway finds herself falling in love with Michael. How can she have feelings for a hologram? She gets scared and doesn't show up for their next date. Janeway later realises that it doesn't matter whether Michael is a hologram, she can accept him for who he is and enjoy his company.

In the meantime the storm hits voyager. The crew has to use all their resources, including power from the holodeck suite, to weather the storm. This results in part of Fair Haven being destroyed. It will take 6 weeks for Paris and Kim to repair the programme. Janeway visits the holodeck character, Michael, and tells him she's going away for a while. Michael tells her he loves her. Janeway tells him she might return after six weeks. At the end of the episode, Janeway asks the computer to deny her further access to Michael's programmes so that she is no longer able to re-programme his personality.

The relationship between Janeway and Michael reminds me of intimate relationships. What if I meet someone I really like on a physical attraction level and he's not compatible in other ways? Would I reprogramme him the way Janeway did? That depends on one's interpretation. In the first instance, I would create a "programme" of someone who meets my ideal, i.e. put out the intent of what I wish to experience. If I meet someone who doesn't quite match up, there isn't much point "re-programming" the other. I would rather "re-programme" myself to remember always that the other is another aspect of myself; or "re-programme" myself to remember that underneath it all, we are all the same.

At the end of the day, in any relationship I am only being with myself. It's a matter of choosing which aspect of myself I wish to experience, accept my choice and have fun.

Otherwise I can always remain single knowing I am already complete being the Love that I am.

I am Love,