Vector8 Journals

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

True Freedom

One thing that has been constant in my quest to know and be Self is staying in inner silence. I believe inner silence is my true nature and only through silence can true freedom be attained. This is what don Juan, Carlos Castaneda's teacher has to say about inner silence.

Don Juan assured me that inner silence is the avenue that leads to a true suspension of judgment - to a moment when sensory data emanating from the universe at large ceases to be the force which, through usage and repetition, decides the nature of the world. (The Active Side of Infinity, by Carlos Castaneda)
To live as the Silence, I have to give up all. In the same book, don Juan advises Carlos that he needs to reach a "breaking point" in his life in order for inner silence to become real in his life. Don Juan suggests that Castaneda give up his friends. As you can imagine, Carlos is reluctant to give up his friends:

"Now, now, now, don Juan," I [Casteneda] said, "I have to put my foot down. You're asking too much of me. To be frank with you, I don't think I can do it. My friends are my family, my points of reference."

"Precisely, precisely," he remarked. "They are your points of reference. Therefore, they have to go. Sorcerers have only one point of reference: infinity."

"But how do you want me to proceed, don Juan?" I asked in a plaintive voice. His request was driving me up the wall.

"You must simply leave," he said matter-of-factly. "Leave any way you can."
I believe "friends" do not only refer to human friends but everything that binds one to human beliefs and concepts. Making infinity one's point of reference is having total trust in one's nature as Infinite Spirit.

Let's take the concept, non-judgment. I used to understand non-judgement as accepting other people's choices even if you are not in agreement with them. After all, the other didn't know any better; he was ignorant of the truth that his thoughts and actions have consequences. I now realise that I was still in a place of judgment as I was judging another's thoughts as having power.

I now see non-judgment in a new light. Non-judgment is not giving a behaviour, thought or emotions any power. Non-judgment is realising that only Spirit is power. Non-judgment is continuously seeing oneself and others as Love and perfection no matter what another's thoughts, emotions or behaviour. That for me is true freedom.

On a personal level, I still feel bodily sensations which feel like pain. Do you know how freeing it is to feel sensations and not react or attach any thoughts or beliefs to them? If I feel a twinge, I don't think about a cause, I just let it pass.

When I sneeze I don't think I'm coming up with a cold, hay-fever or whatever, I just let it happen and don't judge.

When I'm no longer judging a situation as right or wrong, or as having a cause, I let Life unfold the way It is. When I am no longer judging someone as behaving a certain way because of beliefs, thoughts, emotions or expectations, I am seeing with "purer eyes." As it is written in the scriptures:

"Thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil, and canst not look on iniquity. (Habakkuk 1: 13)
Freedom is letting Perfection unfold as it is.
Freedom is letting Love be love.
Freedom is being.

I am Freedom,
Enocia

Excerpts from The Active Side of Infinity

"Inner silence works from the moment you begin to accrue it," he replied. "What the old sorcerers were after was the final dramatic, end result of reaching that individual threshold of silence. Some very talented practitioners need only a few minutes of silence to reach that coveted goal. Others, less talented, need long periods of silence, perhaps more than one hour of complete quietude, before they reached the desired result. The desired result is what the old sorcerers called stopping the world, the moment when everything around us ceases to be what it's always been.

"This is the moment when sorcerers return to the true nature of man," don Juan want on. "The old sorcerers also called it total freedom. It is the moment when man the slave becomes man the free being, capable of feats of perception that defy our linear imagination."

Don Juan assured me that inner silence is the avenue that leads to a true suspension of judgment - to a moment when sensory data emanating from the universe at large ceases to be the force which, through usage and repetition, decides the nature of the world.

[...]

"As I have told you before, many times," don Juan said, jolting me out of my concentration, "every sorcerer I know, male or female, sooner or later arrives at a breaking point in their lives."

"Do you mean that they have a mental breakdown or something like that?" I asked.

"No, no," he said laughing. "Mental breakdowns are for persons who indulge in themselves. Sorcerers are not persons. What I mean is that at a given moment the continuity of their lives has to break in order for inner silence to set in and become an active part of their structures.

"It's very, very important," don Juan went on, "that you yourself deliberately arrive at that breaking point or that you create it artificially, and intelligently."

"What do you mean by that, don Juan?" I asked, caught in his intriguing reasoning.

"Your breaking point," he said, "is to discontinue your life as you know it. You have done everything I told you, dutifully and accurately. If you are talented, you never show it. That seems to be your style. You're not slow, but you act as if you were. You're very sure of yourself, but you act as if you were insecure. You're not timid, and yet you act as if you were afraid of people. Everything you do points at one single spot: you need to break all that, ruthlessly."

"But in what way, don Juan? What do you have in mind?" I asked, genuinely frantic.

"I think everything boils down to one act," he said. "You must leave your friends. You must say good-bye to them, for good. It's not possible for you to continue on the warrior's path carrying your personal history with you, and unless you discontinue your way of life, I won't be able to go ahead with my instruction."

"Now, now, now, don Juan," I said, "I have to put my foot down. You're asking too much of me. To be frank with you, I don't think I can do it. My friends are my family, my points of reference."

"Precisely, precisely," he remarked. "They are your points of reference. Therefore, they have to go. Sorcerers have only one point of reference: infinity."

"But how do you want me to proceed, don Juan?" I asked in a plaintive voice. His request was driving me up the wall.

"You must simply leave," he said matter-of-factly. "Leave any way you can." (The Active Side of Infinity, pp 104-106)