Vector8 Journals

Friday, June 03, 2005

It's Like...I'm Possessed or Something

"Well, Ms Joseph, you speak about being possessed, would you like to describe what that feels like?"

"I don't know, it's just that I don't feel like myself. No, I feel like myself but more myself? No, I feel like a different person."

"In what way are you a different person?"

"I feel happy all the time. I mean, I wake up and I'm in total bliss. I could have a headache and still blissful. What's all that about? It's not normal, Doctor, it's utter madness."

"Hmmm! I see. What other feelings come up for you? Do you see things?"

"Oh yes, I see things but not things that other people see."

"You mean you hallucinate?"

"Don't know if you can call it hallucinating. I see Light."


"Yeah, light, not like light as in sunshine, this light is Light that is more beautiful than any light we've seen and it's wonderful to be with. This Light is me, you, everyone."

"What do you mean it's everyone?"

"Just that, everyone."

"Hmmm! Interesting! Do you hear voices?"

"Yes I do, one voice."

"What does the voice say? Does it tell you to do things?"

"The voice is always talking about love, how I am love, how everyone is love, how love is all there is. The voice inspires me to write about love. It's like...I'm possessed or something by love."

"Hmmm! Very interesting, go on."

"The voice also advises me on how to resolve problems I think I have. But the voice never judges me."

"Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of right now."

"Do you get a feeling of wanting to save the world or save others?"

"Good Lord, no. What makes you think of such a thing?"

"You don't see yourself as a messiah?"

"No way. The voice doesn't tell me to save others, if that's what you are implying. Why would I want to save anyone when everyone has the same voice within? Anyone can hear this voice when s/he listens with an open mind."

"What exactly is this voice? Do you know it's origin?"

"I, I know this voice is my real voice, my one true voice. And another thing, most of the time the voice is silent."

"If the voice is silent how does it speak to you?"

"The silence forms into's difficult to explain, but I get a sense of knowing what things are. I can look at someone and have a sense of knowing in silence and then try to put that knowing into words. Do you understand me?"

"Not really, but let's continue. You say you feel as if you've been possessed which makes you feel like a "different person." I want to explore this "different person." In what way do you feel different?"

"Like I said, I feel joyful and blissful all the time and that is not normal is it? Is it?"

"That's what I'm trying to determine. Please continue."

"I used to feel depressed a lot and considered suicide many times."

"Aha, you have suicidal tendencies."

"I said I used to but then this, whatever it is, took over and I changed into this nice, loving, joyful person. I don't think about suicide anymore, I haven't for a long time."

"Hmmm! This is puzzling. You say you are always happy and blissful and thinking nice thoughts. I don't see a problem. Why are you here? Why have you made this appointment to see me?"

"I love feeling joyful and peaceful all the time. The thing is other people don't think it's normal. They think it's pure madness. Tell me doctor as you're the expert in these matters. What's wrong with being joyful? Is there anything wrong with me?"


Related article: Smile Please!