Vector8 Journals

Saturday, June 11, 2005

The One "I"

"For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring." (Acts 17: 28)
When I say "I am walking," who is the "I" walking? Well, the "I" can be perceived in two ways. There is the personal I which is a combination of human beliefs and the personal ego, who believes she is moving her legs towards a particular destination and gets tired after a certain number of steps. And then there is the impersonal "I" that is moving the body but is untouched by the movements. This impersonal "I" is the one mover of all whether one is conscious of this or not.

Let’s say I’m sitting somewhere watching the world go by. When I observe people’s reactions and behaviours without naming their experiences, I am the detached observer. The impersonal "I" is the "detached observer." You see, the impersonal "I" cannot be experienced with the mind. As a human, I can feel pain, pleasure, hot or cold etc which are states of mind. As the impersonal "I", I have no sensations, it’s as if I am not there. When I walk, for instance, as the impersonal "I," the body feels ethereal like empty space in motion, yet, the body appears very much human. The impersonal "I" therefore feels intangible but is very much present.

I know I am experiencing life as the personal I when I am passing judgments. By judgments, I mean ascribing a quality or quantity to a thing. Thus, the personal I has a body that is tall or short, fat or thin, male or female, of a particular race, culture, nationality, sexuality, religion, belief, has likes and dislikes etc. This is what makes one human. The impersonal "I" is beyond all definitions and labels, for It is all-embracing and infinite.

When I am observing someone, nature or whatever without judgment, I am being the One impersonal "I" of all. The moment I get into judgment or preoccupied with my identity as human, I am experiencing life as the personal I which is limited. Note that there is no judgment about being human, it is just another perspective of life. Similarly, when one is being a cat, one has a different perspective of life.

To sum up,

The impersonal "I" feels empty; the void that is full yet feels empty.
The impersonal "I" judges nothing.
The impersonal "I" communicates in silence.
The impersonal "I" has no sense of smell.
The impersonal "I" has no sense of taste.
The impersonal "I" is bliss.
The impersonal "I" is infinity.

Is it possible to have your cake and eat it too? I mean, can one live as the personal I and the impersonal "I" at the same time? I believe life is the process of expressing the impersonal "I". For instance, as I type this article I am aware of the ideas from the silence seeking expression. I am also aware of the limitations of having to transmute the ideas into words. Thus, it is the impersonal "I" working in harmony with the personal I to achieve what needs to be done. When the personal I aligns her will with the impersonal "I" she is the likeness of the impersonal "I".

Using the above list of the impersonal "I" as a guide, I'm now going to examine what happens when the impersonal "I" is one with the personal I.

The impersonal "I" feels empty; the void that is full yet feels empty.
When I walk as the impersonal "I" my body feels light. I also experience the world as formless. I can bang my head against a brick wall and the wall feels like it's not there. I can carry stuff which, in human terms should feel heavy, but feels like nothing. I can dismiss an illness into nothing as I have no sensations to feel.

The impersonal "I" judges nothing.
I judge no behaviour. I accept life as it is without judgment. I identity myself only as Spirit.

The impersonal "I" communicates in silence.
I experience life in silence.

The impersonal "I" has no sense of smell.
I have had experiences when I have smelled something I found unpleasant and have switched to the impersonal "I" and had no sense of smell. It is not that the smell was not still present, but the impersonal "I" has no olfactory facility.

The impersonal "I" has no sense of taste.
Not too long ago, my mother prepared a meal that was very spicy. At first I drank lots of water to cool down then I switched to the impersonal "I" and tasted nothing. The only snag about this is the food had no taste at all, nor did I have a sense of having a tongue to taste. I have had chocolate as the impersonal "I" and I might as well have been eating nothing. This is not something I'd recommend if you are a chocoholic like me.

The impersonal "I" is bliss.
To be in bliss means you are not worried about anything or expect to have anything to worry about. You have no thoughts that will make you worry about anything. When you surrender to bliss, you should expect your life and affairs to be blissful i.e. anything that would remove you from that consciousness is erased, such as thoughts, and emotions. As thought-forms are erased, the equivalent experiences are erased from your reality. I am only now beginning to realise the power of bliss to transform anything unlike itself to be like itself.

The impersonal "I" is infinity.
As humans, we are always drawing energy from the infinite "I" which makes our actions unlimited. Imagine what it's like to experience life as the impersonal "I" whose nature is infinity. This means infinite love, bliss, truth, wholeness and all good. Thus, every step I take is the infinite impersonal "I" taking that step. Every word I write is of the infinite impersonal "I". I guess life is expressing the infinite impersonal "I".

The impersonal "I" is only a shift of perspective away. This is the easy bit. The challenge is to remember to remain in the consciousness of the impersonal "I". That is what I believe spirituality is about - the practice (or ritual) of being Spirit. One ritual is being in stillness.

There is only the one "I"; the rest are poor imitations.

"I" am Enocia