Vector8 Journals

Monday, June 06, 2005

Seeking What We Already Are

"Saints and mystics throughout history have adorned their realizations with different names and given them different faces and interpretations, but what they are all fundamentally experiencing is the essential nature of the mind. Christians and Jews call it "God"; Hindus call it "the Self," "Shiva," "Brahman," and "Vishnu,"; Sufi mystics name it "the Hidden Essence"; and Buddhists call it "Buddha nature." At the heart of all religions is the certainty that there is fundamental truth, and that this life is a sacred opportunity to evolve and realize it."(The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche, p. 48)
I believe the one thing that we seek is to be in our right minds. We end up looking to others to tell us what this mind is. Many people have their views of the One Mind. The irony is that the thing that most people spend their whole lifetime, even lifetimes, seeking is right there in front of them. If only we realised that this Mind is already who we are and that it is the very seeking that obscures what we already are.

I for one have done things in reverse. My religious background is Christianity; I was brought up as a Methodist. As soon as I could I rejected Christianity. Then I started meditating. I had no expectations of meditation, I just thought it would be fun. It was during meditation that I first realised my Buddha nature or Rigpa, as the Tibetan Buddhists call it.

Rigpa is a consciousness of stillness and clarity that appear radiant as there is nothing in it. Some have called this consciousness "empty" as it is indeed empty of all concepts. It also feels like you are transparent and naked, like a newborn baby with no knowledge of embarrassment. It is a consciousness of innocence and purity as nothing can taint it. It is a consciousness of being truly awake, pure awareness. Imagine being in a state where you have nothing to worry about and you can just be; Rigpa is eternal presence and immense bliss. In eternal presence there is no sense of me, you or I, there is not even a one to speak of as there are no concepts to describe this presence, just pure being. It is only after having the experience that I have tried to conceptualise the experience, which is impossible as Rigpa is beyond syntax.

I had this experience over and over again. While I felt immense bliss, the moment I came out of it I couldn't sustain that peace and my life in the human consciousness felt dull, meaningless and depressing. I didn't know if it was possible to live in that "exalted state" all the time or if indeed we were meant to. As time went on I was drawn to study different religious teachings. Like I said, I'd already rejected Christianity though I studied Jesus' teachings in the Bible. I was drawn to Buddhism. I remember how excited I was after reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. Here was a book describing the radiant mind, Rigpa, that I had experienced many times. I wanted to meet other Buddhists and explore Buddhism. I started attending meditation sessions at
Rigpa. Though it was nice to be with other like-minds, the religious ritual did not appeal to me. Besides, I had already attained Rigpa without any rituals.

Over the years I was drawn to study Yoga - Raja, Bhakti and Kundalini Yoga. Again I found they weren't for me as I had already attained Samadhi or Rigpa, and my
Kundalini had already been awakened.

I believe religions are doing their best to give their vision of the Light and how to live as the Light. My view is that you can describe the Light till kingdom come, but if you haven't experienced the Light for yourself, the teachings will always be theoretical. Once you've realised yourself as the Light in meditation, Yoga or whatever technique, you realise that the Light is also truth which guides you to live as the Light. But if you are looking for evidence elsewhere you will miss the truth.

So after all the seeking, it is back to basics. The truth is the Light is the nature of all. What is the nature of the Light? I can only speak from my experience of being the Light as follows:

The Light is boundless, there are no limits.
The Light has always been, there is no birth date.
The Light is purity and unaffected by human good or evil.
The Light is pure presence, being, and awareness.
The Light is impersonal.
The Light is free from all concepts and beliefs.
The Light is eternal bliss.

Being the Light is knowing Self and what is true for me is true for all. Different religions call the Light by different names such as God, Buddha nature, Brahman, Krishna etc, but it is the One Light.

Is it possible to live as the Light? Of course but it takes continuous practice. First of all one must experience the Light as a tangible entity as it is reality. Those who have realised the Light can actually share the experience with others who are open, and I don't mean just writing about it.

A few nights ago I shared inner silence with my mother without actually intending to. As she was in pain I told her I was going to connect with the Light and channel healing to her. She sat in a chair next to me with her eyes closed while I was in inner silence. After about ten minutes I opened my eyes and asked her whether she'd experienced anything or had any thoughts. She said she'd had no thoughts and was very peaceful. She had never experienced inner silence before. I told her that she'd experienced stillness, her God-presence. Naturally, I can't do the work of realisation for her, but what I gave her was the evidence that this consciousness is real. If she's motivated she could practise meditation or join me when I meditate.

Once experienced you have to make this experience your life. Nothing is more important. It is the only Life. When one has had the experience of the Light one will be guided by the Light in all ways.

Here are a few realisations of the same Light

This self-originated Rigpa, which from the very beginning was never born,
Is the child of Rigpa, which is itself without any parents – how amazing!
The self-originated wisdom has not been created by anyone – how amazing!
It has never experienced birth and has nothing it that could cause it to die – how amazing!
Although it is evidently visible, yet there is no one there who sees it – how amazing!
Although it has wandered through samsara, no harm has come to it – how amazing!
Although it has seen buddhahood itself, no good has come to it – how amazing!
Although it exists in everyone everywhere, it has gone unrecognised – how amazing!
And yet you go on hoping to attain some other fruit than this elsewhere – how amazing!
Even though it is the thing that is most essentially yours, you seek for it elsewhere – how amazing!" (Padmasambhava, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, by Sogyal Rinpoche)


"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep." (Psalm 121: 1-4)

"And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not." (John 1: 5)

"God is light, and in him is no darkness at all." (1 John 1: 5)


Dudjom Rinpoche wrote:

No words can describe it
No example can point to it
Samsara does not make it worse
Nirvana does not make it better
It has never been born
It has never ceased
It has never been liberated
It has never been deluded
It has never existed
It has never been nonexistent
It has no limits at all
It does not fall into any kind of category" (The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying)


Nyoshul Khenpo Rinpoche said

Profound and tranquil, free from complexity,
Uncompounded luminous clarity,
Beyond the mind of conceptual ideas;
This is the depth of the mind of the Victorious Ones.
In this there is not a thing to be removed,
Nor anything that needs to be added.
It is merely the immaculate
Looking naturally at itself." (The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying)
May everyone realise they are the Light.

Love and Light,